


Pandora's Trauma Box

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Family, Love, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, he's trying okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A fic for Noahfronsenburg for Nagamas 2019~ Posted here just to make sure it actually got to you but hopefully anyone else who stumbles across it will enjoy if it's your thing. I hope you had a wonderful holiday if you were celebrating this year! :D
Relationships: Gunter/My Unit | Kamui | Corrin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Pandora's Trauma Box

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jonphaedrus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonphaedrus/gifts).



He wonders often if he’s done something unforgivable by marrying Corrin. She is beautiful, a shinning light more powerful than anything else he’s ever encountered, and he’s confident that anyone who knows her could love her as strongly as he does if they were given the chance. And, _oh—how he loves her._

Yet, his beautiful, stunning and brave wife had chosen him. _Him,_ someone so utterly undeserving. On some days, the sight of their wedding rings could make his gut twist, reminding him of the whispers and reasons why this should never have happened. A wretched man like him had no place beside someone like her—at best he was a disgusting old lecher, and at worst…

He had tried to _kill_ her. Her, her cause, her family. His mind had been a slave to Anankos until she had saved him, and now, in a laughable twist, he was a slave to her, if only through love. A love so powerful and overwhelming it had saved him, but that didn’t mean the suffering was over.

Nights like this haunted him frequently. Corrin lay beside him in their bed, peacefully asleep and curled up against his side while he stared at the ceiling as dawn crept closer. She would be upset if she caught him, which had happened before. His wife would scold him gently for clinging to the past, reassuring him that their future together was more important than anything he had done until now. That everyone had already come through safely, and that was what was important. She forgave him fully, if she had ever begrudged him to begin with, but he couldn’t possibly deserve it.

Kana, blessedly, is too young to know yet, but would have to be told eventually. That he had already failed his son before Kana was even born weighed heavily on his already abused heart—the irony in promising himself to be the perfect father this time wasn’t lost on the knight. Their boy was hardly ten years old and had spent nearly all of it sequestered in a deeprealm for safety. And what would his son think, when he found out? Gunther could weather the silent disapproval of the other royals as long as he believed he truly was who Corrin wanted, but his _son!_ There was only terror in the thought that he could grow up and find his father a monster for so, _so_ many things.

Gunther was unsure how long he lay there focusing on his breaths, the dawn seeming an impossible amount of time away no matter how patient a man could be. At some point he slid out from under the covers, a careful shadow tucking back the covers before slipping quietly through the heavy wooden door of the bedroom.

Rubbing his clammy palms on his nightshirt, he set off down the increasingly familiar path to the kitchens. He’d have some tea, he’d calm down, he’d go back to bed. This odd hour of the morning, the servants should still be in bed. At least he could do that himself. Learning to make it properly had been humbling, but so much the better to keep these moments of weakness private from the castle staff. He wasn’t sure if the castle felt safer or not when the halls were empty and his armour was set down until training after breakfast.

Fixing the kettle on the burner and doing what he could to distract himself with picking a mug while the water boiled went quickly, and soon the knight was seated in one of the rickety wooden chairs with a cup of chamomile and plaguing thoughts of time and failure.

The list was long, a catalogue of shortcomings that tumbled quickly into evil misdeeds ending in… possession. A condition nothing like the sudden horror described in frightful stories for older children or religious zealots—a creeping condition, slowly festering from shortcomings all your own. As horrible as the world was, to fall as low as he had was undeniably worse. He deserved what had happened, and precious Corrin was paying his ransom.

_Just like before._

Like before, yes. The beginning of his life’s trend. If he had known then what would have followed after his promotion, undoubtedly he would have killed himself. Odette, too, would likely have forgiven him if she saw him now. He could live the rest of his life—whatever time was left to him—and never hope to prove worthy of either his past or current wives.

And _that_ was to say nothing of him as a father. Blessedly, Kanna took nearly entirely after his mother, right down to the dragon blood. It served Corrin well in war, and even if he hoped for Kanna to need never see the sort of battles he had fought in with Corrin, he knew at least that his second son could be powerful enough to protect himself from many foes by strength of blood alone. A perfect foil to his firstborn, who shied away from any violence and could barely stand to hold a dirk.

 _I would never have forced him to train, if I could do it all over._ His sons took after their mothers, and he was thankful. Though Gunther delighted in seeing himself in Kanna, the less of himself the boy had in him… was for the best. His type merited nothing of the kind.

The tea was nearly room-temperature by the time he managed to drink any of it, but he hardly noticed anyway.

For safety’s sake, it was fortunate that Gunther recognized the patter of Corrin’s bare feet on the castle stone. Her pale arms looped over his shoulders from behind, but he couldn’t turn around and upset her with tears.

“Kana would like it if you taught him to make that,” Corrin murmured, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek as the man choked down the tea he’d sipped. “Come back to bed soon?”

Reaching up to give her arm a little squeeze, he nodded minutely. Whatever she wanted, anyone would give her. A weak man like him should only be honoured that she’d made a request. He would give his darling wife the sun and stars.


End file.
